UberMike: Boredom: The Consciousness Killer!

By Mike Burns

Oh man, at 7AM I got up, ready to take on the day! … only to find that my (stolen) Internet was down and that my eyes hurt too much to read. So I slept, because my bed was warm and, really, I had nothing else to do.

Here is my new goal: go 60 hours without oversleeping. That’s 15 phases without falling to boredom or cold.

To combat the cold I’ve discovered sit-ups. This was an easy discovery: I do at least one sit up each time I get out of bed. In fact, the colder it is, the more I naturally do—one to discover it’s cold, another when I’m motivated to get up, and some more until I finally manage to get out of bed.

So that was then; now, I plan these sit-ups. I don’t count them because counting is for people who want to improve, but I do as many as I can. After maybe ten of these I’m warm enough to pull some blankets off; after I’ve done the most I can, I’m warm enough to jump out of bed.

To combat boredom I reload 4Chan non-stop. This only works while I have Internet; I need to devise an anti-boredom agent for when my stolen wireless goes down.

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